1/2 bunch of kale, de-stem, and tear leaves into bite sized pieces

1 avocado

1 lemon’s juice

sea salt, to taste

1 container of sprouts, any type

1/4 cup roasted and salted sunflower seeds

Into large mixing bowl, place kale and massage with avocado. Squeeze lemon juice, add salt and toss. Add sprouts and sunflower seeds, if using. Toss to mix well. Makes 2 servings. Adapted from Ani Phyo’s Kale, Avocado, Sprout salad.

Here are some tips to help you open and soften:

• Smile – It’s incredible how you can open another’s heart with a smile.
• Say “Yes” More – Be flexible, let go. Sometimes it’s a “gift” to let the other person have their way.
• When you are Angry – Rather than arguing your point, which usually leads to disconnection, try responding with “You’re funny!” and let it go. Watch how it disarms!
• Give and receive compliments – Others love to be acknowledged. Watch how they melt. Break the habit of deflecting compliments, and model for others to take in a compliment by responding:”Yes it’s true, thank you!”

Please post any comments below:

CHOCOLATE MACAROONS

1 1/2 cups, unsweetened coconut flakes

3/4 cup raw cacao powder

1/2 cup maple syrup

1/6 cup coconut butter (slightly softened by melting on low, low temp, slowly)

1/2 TBL vanilla extract or 1 tsp. of real vanilla powder

1/4 tsp salt

Combine all ingredients and mix well.  Using a spoon, scoop out the dough and make small little balls. Roll in additional coconut flakes to coat. Put on wax paper, on a plate and freeze for 15 minutes. Enjoy! For Blonde macaroons, replace cacao powder with an equal amount of almond flour. Servings: 24 one-inch round macaroons. From Matthew Kinney’s cookbook “Raw Food, Real World.”

Oh, and this week I woke the S up in five, count ’em five women:

To woman #1 who gave me a stern look from across the aisle at Toys R Us, I said, “My, you have such a lovely mouth!” And she smiled, wide and surprised.

To woman #2, who was standing erectly and stiffly in front of me in line somewhere else, I tapped her gently and lovingly on the shoulder and said, “Gosh, I love how beautiful your jacket is.” And she melted.

When woman #3 walked up to my front door to talk to me about her religious beliefs, she wore a mask so hard I actually thought she had a mask on, so I said, “Your cheeks are so rosy against your very pale skin.” And her face moved and relaxed.

To girls #4 & #5 who were standing at a crosswalk talking about another woman, calling her a “whore this” and a “whore that,” I said, “Have you ever been to S Factor?” And I handed them two half-off Intro cards. They both squealed with delight.

How are you softening and turning on other women today?

1/3 cup of coconut butter

2 TBL of raw cacao powder

1 TBL of agave nectar

1/8 tsp of salt

1/8 cup of unsweetened coconut flakes

1 tsp of coconut oil

Melt coconut butter in a double boiler on really low heat, until soft and stirable. (overheating it will kill all the good nutritional enzymes). Remove from heat and stir in remaining ingredients. Put mixture on wax paper, on a plate and press into a flat thin “frisbee” shape. Sprinkle on more coconut flakes and put in freezer for 15-20 minutes, then break apart and enjoy. Store in refrigerator.

Sexuality is not something most of us openly talk about. I’m beginning to shed some longstanding inhibitions to reclaim the sexual vitality which is our birthright. It helps to expand our definition of orgasm to include “sensations of pleasure” – “chi” – “prana” – “energy running through the body.” Think of it as circulating waves of increasing energy rather than a sexual outcome.

Here are a few ideas to cultivate your sexual energy and create more connection:

• Learn New Techniques- If you are in a long-term relationship, single or just wanting more spark with another, there’s no need to settle. You have the capacity to bring new energy into a relationship. John Gottman’s book on successful marriages, David Deida’s Enlightened Sex CD and The Way of the Superior Man each will help you bring a new perspective to engage in your relationships. Attending experiential workshops frees yourself from old patterns and helps you have an energetic shift. Consider joining me and George at Omega in early October for David Deida’s next workshop!
• Start a Practice of OM Meditation – Check out Nicole Daedone’s TEDx talk on her fifteen minute orgasmic mediation (OM). TED is a nonprofit organization dedicated to new ideas worth spreading. For more on the ‘how-to’ of her OM meditation, check out Nicole’s new book, Slow Sex. This practice has led to more connection in my marriage, more ease, laughter and trust. It’s great because there’s no outcome or nothing to achieve, just an overall body relaxant that melts the tension away and has us eye gazing and breathing together. Tell your partner….I highly recommend it as a means to greater connection.
• Understand polarity – So many women are cut off from their femininity (me too at times) and operate from their masculine side, being actional, multi-tasking, being purposeful and getting work done. While this energy helps us be successful, often it results in two partners in their masculine energy. The couple’s energy can become neutral and flat energy when it loses the necessary polarity for opposite energies to attract. One of a woman’s greatest gifts is using receptivity, surrender, flow and flexibility to inspire her partner to higher levels of sexual connection. Know you can elicit the magnetic attraction again by understanding how well you master your masculine and feminine energies. David Deida’s Enlightened Sex book or CD explains this well. Check out these free audio excerpts on erotic polarity from Deida’s lectures.
• Regular orgasms improve your health – More and more doctors are giving validation to the importance of female orgasm including Dr. Christianne Northrup and Dr. Sarah Gottfried, both women’s health experts. Check out this series of videos with Dr. Gottfried on how the chemicals stimulated from regular orgasm can help with stress, PMS, sugar addiction, depression and trauma.

Cultivating our orgasmic energy/chi/life force so that we expand our capacity for more conscious connection and fill ourselves with energy and vitality is an important wellness habit! Comments? Please write back below.

• Add more green – Green foods heal the body, wash our red blood cells clean, reduce inflammation and provide vital nutrients and vitamins. Cut up fresh spinach in an omelet, have salad with a lean meat for lunch, make guacamole and dip with cucumbers and celery, have extra veggies instead of a carbohydrate with your dinner, eat kale chips (recipe here) instead of other chips and experiment with green juices like Green Machine. Small steps. Pick one meal where you will add green, then add from there. Watch this movie for inspiration!
• Drink more water – Do you carry water on you? Buy a cool water bottle or one of these plastic acrylic glasses with a straw, and drink 6-8 eight ounce glasses a day. Upon waking drink a full glass of water before anything else. This starts your digestion and is very cleansing. When we are at the point of being thirsty, our body is already dehydrated. Water hydrates your skin and helps reduce wrinkles. Add half a lemon to your water which will reduce acidity in your body and give it a little flavor. If you drink coffee, soda or juices throughout the day, one small step you can take is to substitute one of those drinks with a glass of water instead. Same goes for alcohol. Start with water and lemon, and have a glass of water in-between drinks to slow down your intake. You want to wake up feeling good!
• Be conscious with your language – Do you ever hear yourself saying, “I’m overwhelmed.” – “I don’t have enough time.” – “Things are crazy.” – “I’m crazy busy.” – “I’m swamped.” Practice “upgrading” your language when you hear these type of statements. You want your language and your thoughts to support the outcome you truly desire. Catch yourself, and say “Wait a minute. Do I really want, crazy busy, swamped and no time?” And ask yourself, “What do I want to create?” Likely it’s something like; more calm, peace, ease in doing a task, one-thing-at-a time focus, completion, connection, being excited about your activities. We all have work, obligations and much to accomplish. Why not phrase it in a way that creates ease? Examples of upgrades: “I’m overwhelmed” becomes “I am choosing to focus on one thing at a time. So, I’ll start with ….” ~ “I don’t have to time” becomes “I choose to do X-Y-Z today” ~ “Things are crazy” becomes “I have a full schedule and look forward to fully engaging today” ~ “I’m swamped” becomes “I choose to prioritize and create a schedule to finish my work with ease.” Start upgrading your language and notice the inner calm you cultivate. Use these starters to help you upgrade: I will..~ I choose… ~ I enjoy… ~ I create… ~ I love to…. ~ I am…. ~ I decide… ~ I have… ~ I commit….. ~ I want to…. ~ I will… Use this conscious language audio to reinforce these techniques.

Let us know what reboot you chose this week and the impact it had, by posting a comment below.

2 cups almonds (raw)
1/2 cup flax meal (ground flaxseeds)
1/2 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
2 cups pitted dates (I wanted them sweet, but you can use as little as 1 cup and they’re still great)
1/2 cup unsalted creamy almond butter
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/2 cup coconut oil
1 cup semi sweet or dark chocolate (optional)

1. Melt coconut oil with a double boiler on very low heat. Set aside.
2. Place all ingredients but coconut oil  and chocolate in food processor and pulse briefly until ingredients form a very coarse paste.
3. Slowly add coconut oil and pulse until well combined.
4. Using a small scoop or teaspoon, evenly distribute mixture into 36 mini muffin tins. Press each bite down firmly.
5. Chill in refrigerator for 1 hour or until mixture hardens.
6. In the meantime, in a double boiler or metal bowl set on top of a pan of boiling water, melt  chocolate.
7. Remove each bite, using a small spatula or knife inserted along one edge to pop them out. Set bites, spaced fairly close together, on a sheet of parchment or wax paper set on top of a cutting board.
8. Use a spoon to drizzle each bite with chocolate. Return bites to fridge until chocolate sets, about 15 minutes.
9. Store bites in refrigerator until ready to eat (or serve). If left at room temperature for too long, they tend to crumble.

These are great snacks and can really help satisfy a sweet tooth!

When I mention pleasure to people, many raise their eyebrows. look. As if it’s naughty or frivolous.I used to be one of them, but now I see it differently. Valuing hard work, completing our to-do’s and being “on-the-go” is worthy and productive, yet often leaves us worn out because we ignore our own self-care needs.

In Stella Resnick’s book, The Pleasure Zone – Why We Resist Good Feelings & How to Let Go and Be Happy, she advocates incorporating pleasure by linking optimism, physical health, emotional fulfillment, gratifying sex and positive aging to eight core pleasures:

• Primal Pleasure- Letting go and just being
• Pleasure of Pain Relief – Being soothed and comforted
• Pleasure of Play – Humor, movement and vocalization
• Mental Pleasure – Intellectual and aesthetic stimulation
• Emotional Pleasure – Including love, gratitude, courage and faith
• Sensual Pleasure – Taking delight in hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling, touching and imagining
• Sexual Pleasure – A spectrum of arousal that ranges from interest, to desire, erotic love, lust, passion, orgasm and ecstasy
• Spiritual Pleasure – A deep sense of being a part of something good that is larger than oneself

When we reclaim the pleasure we have cut ourselves off from, we develop healthier habits to comfort ourselves and thrive.

When I observe people turning to food and alcohol as their primary sources of pleasure and as a habitual way to soothe themselves, I know they are in a pleasure deficit. Relying on food to feel better or drinking daily to relax, often leads one to weight gain and zaps any motivation to choose other forms of pleasure for nourishment.

Here are 10 ways to CHOOSE pleasure as part of your wellness routine. Try this: instead of going for one of your habits, such as food, candy, soda, alcohol or smoking, choose one of these pleasures instead. Pick one and practice daily for a week:

• Music – Turn off the news and turn on the tunes. Music is an emotional and sensual pleasure we can give ourselves by listening to what makes us dance, move, sing and feel our emotions.
• Bathtub – If you are normally a shower person, take a bath instead. Notice the primal, physical and sensual pleasure you receive in the warm water, slowing down your nervous system, relaxing your muscles and mind.
• 1 Minute Mediation – Insert these mental breaks throughout your day. Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose for a count of four. Hold it one second, then exhale for a count of eight. Do this ten times.
• Walk – Go a for a nature walk outside, with no agenda – not to get somewhere or to get exercise. A primal and spiritual pleasure, walking in nature is a great healer and sparks creative ideas. It grounds you and reminds you of your purpose.
• Play a Game – Play a game of smiling or winking at all those you encounter one day and see what you awaken. Allow fun. Be childlike and silly. Pleasure yourself through play so you are smiling and laughing and you create more emotional fulfillment.
• Choose Right Nutrition – More greens, lean proteins, nuts and low sugar fruits can create physical pleasure when you experience the energy boosting effects.
• Eat Slowly – Chew your food slowly (42x each bite), savor the flavors and pay attention to which foods feel nurturing. This becomes a sensual pleasure with how slow you eat and the attention you give to each bite. Try dipping strawberries into dark chocolate and eating them SO slowly in front of someone you love, and watch what happens.
• Ladies – Hip Circles. Yes, I said hip circles. This is a primal, sensual, play and emotional pleasure. There’s nothing like dropping us out of our head and into our bodies. Turn on some music to get into it. Or no music. Go into a bathroom stall, close your eyes and move slowly and activate your sensual energy and reconnect to your authentic feminine nature.
• S Factor or Burlesque – Again for the ladies, take a sensual S Factor or burlesque class to explore your sensual and sexual self. This primal pleasure of movement and play is invigorating.
• Reconnect with your Sexual Nature – My husband and I are off to a Sacred Sexuality workshop next week. More on this later. I can recommend these books to inspire you to reclaim your sexual energy and mastery: Intimate Communion, Shameless, Mating in Captivity, The Seductress-Women Who Ravished the World, Tantra-The Art of Conscious Loving, Sex Secrets of Escorts, Enlightened Sex-Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover.

Let us know what you chose this week and the impact it had, by posting a comment below.